In the End, Only Kindness Matters

Kindness and empathy seem to be in short supply in today’s world. All the more reason to make the extra effort to demonstrate their power in our professional and personal lives.

By Paul Cerrato, MA, senior research analyst and communications specialist and John Halamka, M.D., Diercks President, Mayo Clinic Platform

Albert Einstein once said “empathy is patiently and sincerely seeing the world through the other person’s eyes. It is not learned in school; it is cultivated over a lifetime.” Gustave Gilbert, the prison psychologist at the Nuremberg Trials, on the other hand, described a lack of empathy: “It's the one characteristic that connects all the defendants, a genuine incapacity to feel with their fellow men. Evil, I think, is the absence of empathy." And the historian and philosopher Hannah Arendt explained: "The death of human empathy is one of the earliest and most telling signs of a culture about to fall into barbarism." That perspective is in sharp contrast to comments from some public figures who see empathy as a human weakness.

In what sense is empathy a strength rather than a weakness? It can strengthen trust and connections between people and make others feel heard and appreciated. It also improves communication. The best communicators recognize and respond to others' emotions with care and respect. It’s also a “lubricant” that fosters cooperation, effective teamwork, and a healthy society. And finally, it promotes personal growth. But is there any scientific evidence to show that empathy and kindness are essential social skills and important components of patient care?

Investigators have identified areas in the human brain, including the brain stem, amygdala, and hypothalamus, linked to empathy. Based on their analysis, Decety et al conclude: “… the experience of empathy and motivation to care for others emerge from the interaction of multiple areas in conjunction with the autonomic nervous system and the neuroendocrine system….  [T]heoretical and empirical research demonstrate that even the most advanced forms of empathy in humans are built on more rudimentary neurobehavioural processes that have been selected for over the course of evolution to facilitate affective communication, social attachment and parental care.” In other words, we are hard-wired to show empathy.

Similarly, empathy and kindness have a measurable impact on patient outcomes. When clinicians display compassion, for instance, patients are more likely to adhere to their prescribed treatment and experience better physical and psychological outcomes. It also seems to “increase financial margins and prevents physician burnout,” according to some researchers. And a systematic review and meta-analysis of seven trials concluded that these traits can have a measurable impact on our patients: “Greater practitioner empathy or communication of positive messages can have small patient benefits for a range of clinical conditions, especially pain.”

That said, it is possible to display too much empathy; feeling the pain for someone can go too far.  If a student asks for a higher grade on a test than their performance justifies, saying it will hurt his or her career, you may feel their pain, but letting that empathy move you to raise their grade doesn’t really help them long term. As a parent, turning a blind eye to your child’s drug addiction because you sense the pain they will experience during withdrawal likewise takes empathy to an unhealthy extreme. This is where kindness needs to take precedence over empathy. If kindness is concern for the long-term welfare of others, it’s not really kind to let the student get undue credit for poor quality workmanship or to allow a child to maintain a self-destructive journey.

The singer/songwriter Jewel summarized the need for a humanistic approach to life: In the end, only kindness matters.